GGH Blog

I Have Borderline What!? Part 2 (June 21,2020)

A month later, I celebrated my 25th birthday. I refused to let this birthday go by without seeing my friends and celebrating with the people who checked in on me, called/texted, stopped by and invested in me and my health journey for the last 2 months.

Frankly, I could hardly wait to be out of sleep gowns and my bed for how long I was spending in it daily. I wore ripped jeans, a grey off the shoulders long sleeved top and a short heeled ankle boot with a hunched posture because of my healing cuts. One of my best friends arranged for our other friend who is a makeup artist to do my makeup that night. She really made me feel special. I was glad I went out. The month before had taken me to places I hadn’t been before mentally or physically.

I never thought I’d be asking myself if I could have babies. It’s something that I thought just was. “I’m a woman – I will have babies.” I hadn’t known any different. I never knew of all of the other possible issues that could get in the way. No one talked about it and I never was exposed to it. Thankfully, I was told that I could still have babies after I got a referral to another gynecologist to help me cope post surgery, be the third doctor to highly recommend me going on birth control and confirm that I would be healthy and have everything I need to carry a baby. “YASSS!” I wanted to scream. Although, I still do ask every single time I have a check up!

Things I did not know would happen to my body and discoveries made post surgery:

  • Being super sensitive to feeling specifically located pain in my other ovary. There’s subtle pain sometimes and I feel it right away.
  • Laparoscopic surgeries leave small scars but there is a lot on the inside that needs healing once something is removed. Kind of symbolic for a lot of the internal work we have to do post trauma and its impact on our overall health. That may have been a stretch! But hey, it’s true!
  • Your mental health can be hella impacted post surgery. It put me in a position where I had no choice to slow down and take care of my body. I wasn’t used to doing that.
  • I had scar tissue develop which was a confusing feeling and kinda felt like a painful period kicking my ass.
  • I got my period literally the next day after my pelvic surgery. FML.
  • You can get a nasty bacterial throat infection from a breathing tube. It was yucky and the nurse call line said they hadn’t heard of that happening often for people my age. I don’t fall into medical statistics, clearly.
  • Pain meds are wicked addictive especially when you’re in pain and desperate for comfort – you definitely can benefit and be more safe by having a way to track it and/or have someone you love look after your intake.
  • I would be put on birth control for the first time because of the emotional roller coaster ( I was literally crying everyday for a month – mostly in bed too) I was and the pain I would endure monthly even with that SOB tumor removed from my body. Like take your negativity with you once you leave my body, alright!?
  • I would be put on progesterone only birth control because of the migraine medication I was taking and it potentially causing a stroke if I mixed that and the typical combined birth control like I was on. I was told this the day after I filled that prescription. FML.
  • The progesterone only pills were meant to completely stop my periods (it’s been over a year).
  • You apparently only need 1 ovary, just like your kidneys. I can’t ever say I’m fully balanced in my life, that one ovary is a reminder LOL.
  • I would find out I had endometriosis- well likely my team of doctors said, since they aren’t able to go in to check. It would be too invasive since I’ve already had a surgery.
  • It’ll only be “1 month recovery time” they said – Yes, technically. But that didn’t factor in mental health, hormone changes, new medication, fatigue and burn out, trial and error with change in lifestyle (I juice cleansed for about 3-4 months harddd, supplements, specialist suggestions, naturopath visits, awaiting results, ultrasound check ups) and other symptoms/conditions that would arise (migraines, vertigo).
  • I was more determined than ever to try things to help heal my body
  • I put blame on myself for neglecting my emotional trauma and that potentially triggering these medical issues. It set off so many alarms in me though. Like “Girl, you gotta heal your mind and body – this is your time.” I’m now grateful for the shift it caused.
  • You can make it back to work in a month and your 25th birthday like a resilient boss who still had some taking care of her body to do.
  • What works for one girls body may not work for the next girl – ALWAYS ask questions, inquire about new techniques, remedies, therapies, be kind to yourself if something isn’t working out for you and stay positive that there will be things to add to your lifestyle to cater to exactly what you need even when you feel alone in your physical illness/pain/injury/trauma. Know you aren’t alone.

The healing continues for this girl.

xo

C

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